May 2014 ~ FruitAssholes.com

Banana Asshole

The banana asshole is one of the most intriguing in the fruit asshole kingdom. Note the concentric layers of crust, possibly indicating the banana's inability to wipe.

Blueberry Asshole

The blueberry's asshole tells a tale of past exploitations and regret. If we look beyond the outer star shaped layer, the previous (much narrower) boundary of the asshole is visible. Perhaps this is how the blueberry put itself through college.

Watermelon Asshole

If a picture is worth a thousand words, then the image to the right is a cautionary tale of the permanence of sexually transmitted diseases. While the watermelon asshole is generally unremarkable, the blemishes orbiting the asshole are an area of concern.

Apple Asshole

Here we have a near textbook example of prolapse. But before passing judgment on the apple, consider that this could have easily been caused by severe constipation or old age.

Friday, May 2, 2014

Watermelon Asshole II

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Watermelon Asshole

This specimen varies greatly from the previous watermelon asshole posting. This, friends, is a pristine example of a watermelon asshole. Note the vivid complexion of the area surrounding the asshole. And the virtually indiscernible entrance point. This watermelon's staunch commitment to abstinence is apparent. I applaud his dedication.

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Pineapple Asshole

"Cavernous" is the word that comes to mind when peering deep in to the recesses of this pineapple asshole. This asshole is so large that it wouldn't be hard to imagine other fruits repelling into its depths as part of a weekend excursion. I wouldn't presume to speculate what caused this gaping chasm, as it was clearly too grim an incident to discuss openly.